Even On The Rainiest Day...

Kylynn Aria

   Over the past month I have managed to cross off a number of items on my "bucket list". The biggest of those has to be seeing my Kylynn Aria make her First Communion. When I was first diagnosed and sat looking at my sweet girl, who then was only a year and a half old, it broke my heart to think about all the events in her life that I may never get to see. Her First Communion, her Confirmation, her high school and college graduations, her wedding, the birth of any babies she may have. It's a long list and I still worry about seeing many of these things, but I feel so blessed that I was there to see my baby make her First Communion. When I traveled to Medjugorje all those years ago in 2007 the only thing my Aria asked me to bring her was a pink rosary. I picked out the cutest pink rosary that I could find and brought it home to her. But my mom and I also searched all over that small village buying all the different pink rosaries that we could find because I wanted to have them to give to Kylynn on all the big occasions that she had ahead of her. When I brought those rosaries home it was hard to imagine that I would ever get to hand my Ari one. She was so small then and her First Communion seemed a lifetime away. I cannot begin to tell you what a joy it was to put that first rosary in her hands and telling her the story of how I looked all of Medjugorje for these special rosaries for her. Kylynn may not have understood the huge significance of the moment, and that's okay, she will remember it when she is older and understand. But for now, I knew what a big deal it was and that's enough. Another special thing about Kylynn's First Communion is that we had my wedding dress made over into a communion gown for her. It turned out beautifully and looked like a smaller version of my dress. Kylynn also wore my veil.

Kylynn and Me

   These last two items that recently got crossed off of my list are, in the grand scheme of things, smaller, but still very important to me. By now you must know of my love for the singing group Celtic Thunder and the delight that they bring me. I have previously had the opportunity to meet most of the guys in the group but the two that I have wanted to meet the most, Ryan and Neil, have managed to elude me... until recently. As luck would have it, these to talented and not bad looking men teamed up to play at some smaller venues with their Acoustic By Candlelight tour. Last weekend that tour brought them through the Chicago area and I was able to see them two nights in a row!  After the show the guys took time to meet with everyone, take pictures, and sign pictures and, in my case, a shirt for my Aria. So that was one item checked off my list.

Neil, Me, & Ryan!

Neil & Ryan holding a message for Kylynn

Throughout this whole cancer experience my daughter, Kylynn, has remained pretty unflappable and amazingly strong. She has, for the most part, not been overly plagued by fear and worry and for that I am so grateful. Sure she has had some rough patches, but in the grand scheme of things, Kylynn has weathered all of this cancer crap very well. One might think that she has done well because she isn't really aware of my whole situation, but that isn't the case. Kylynn is a very intelligent and inquisitive little girl and there isn't much about my cancer that we have kept from her or could keep from her even if we wanted to. She, from the beginning, has wanted to know everything right down to what color tumors are, saying that she feels more confident about the situation if she knows what is going on. So we have done our best to keep Kylynn informed as best we can while trying to stress our confidence in God and in my doctors. And, overall, it has worked well for us all. But every now and then I think reality catches up with Kylynn, as it does with me sometimes, and for such a young girl it must seem even more monstrous and overwhelming than it does for me.

So I know that change is part of life, and I wouldn't mind it if it was just an occasional light breeze or maybe even sometimes a moderate wind that blew through my life, but that doesn't seem to be how things are working out. The winds of change are not blowing gently but instead seem to be howling all around me. After awhile you get sort of used to it, you start to be able to tune out the chaos and fear, you tape your windows and build your little sandbag wall to hold back the floods, you buy a good raincoat, boots, and strong umbrella, and it works... most of the time, but there are days that, like it or not, and try as you may to fight against it, you get swept up into the storm and the reality of it all crashes over you. These storm swept moments can come at anytime, without warning, but most often I find that they creep in at night when all is quiet and my mind has a little time to try and rest after the craziness of the day. In the quiet all the "what ifs" start to play themselves out in my, all too vivid and active, imagination.

Sometimes my imagination focuses on my actual cancer diagnosis. The fact, the reality, that I have cancer is something that, on most days, doesn't seem quite real. I mean, I know that I have cancer, the chemo treatments, if nothing else, are a constant reminder of that, but it's something so big and so foreign that it's hard to wrap my mind around. And because of that, I am usually, blessedly, able to push that fact to the back of my mind and not really think about exactly what my cancer could mean. But, in the quiet, reality has a way of creeping in and I find myself battling the storm again. I think, sometimes, of how, while he is positive and optimistic and pleased with how I am doing, my doctor does remind me from time to time that my condition could change at anytime and maybe change quickly. My liver is right now free of tumors and that is fantastic, but at the same time, my liver is full of holes, some relatively large, from where they have burnt out those tumors. Because of the holes, and because even though it is regenerated to pretty much normal size, I, in truth, only have the left lobe of my liver, my liver is more fragile than a "normal" liver and could, for lack of a better way to put it, just decide to not work, or not work as well, at any time. I feel okay, I look okay, and right now my liver is functioning really well, so that is a fact that is easy to push out of my mind, but sometimes it does creep back in. And think about that, it's terrifying! What would happen if my liver started to fail? I am not eligible for a transplant. Liver failure, from what I understand, is painful. What would I do? I am not really that scared of death, but the actual dying frightens me. And then what about my lungs? The tumors are spread throughout both my lungs and cannot be surgically removed. The chemo is, right now, keeping them from growing and possibly even shrinking a few, but for how long will the chemo work? And if it stops working then what? I've kind of gotten used to being able to breathe and think it might be difficult if that were to change. And I laugh about it now, but sometimes, when I am out in the howling winds, it's more than a little scary.

And then there is my biggest fear. Like I said, I'm not really scared of death. That is to say, I'm not all that scared about what will happen to me after I die. But I am scared of the actual dying and, more than that, I am scared about what will happen in the lives of those I leave behind. Not that I imagine myself to be all that important, and while they may miss me, most people would be able to carry on without me, but it is my little Aria that scares me the most. Of all the people in the world, she is the only one who I can convince myself that she needs me. And I love that little girl like no one else on this earth. Yes, I love my husband and my family and my friends, with all my heart I love them, but my little girl is different. I love Kylynn in a way only a parent, maybe only a mother, could understand. And sometimes the thoughts of what it might be like for her if I died creep in and I am thrown out into the storm and it is from these thoughts that it is most difficult for me to find my way back from. Some nights I just sit by my sleeping little girl and cry. How long do I have with her? Will I get to see her grown up? Will I at least be able to see her into her teens where she might be better able to understand and cope with my death? And then there are all the other questions that fly though my mind. Who will comfort her when she cries in the night? Who will iron her shirts for school? Who is going to make her lunch and remember to fill out her forms and permission slips for school and help her pack her backpack? Who is going to take her to school? Who is going to take care of her when she is sick? Who will help her with her worries and problems? Who will plan her birthday parties and take her to her friends' parties? There are thousands of these questions and, for sure, her daddy would take up many of these duties, but it's not the same as having mommy. Above all thoughts and fears, the ones concerning Kylynn are the ones that trouble me the most. How could I leave my precious girl?

Things are constantly changing in my life. There often seems to be no solid ground and constant motion is the only way to stay above it all. But that is exhausting and sooner or later I have to stop and rest. And sometimes in what should be rest, the storm sneaks in and crashes over me, and maybe that is okay. It is, after all, only sometimes and a good cry does make me feel a little better. Even on the rainiest day, when the winds are howling in the dark of the night, there is the promise of the sun in the morning and the renewal of hope. And we carry on, we have to, there is no going back and changing the past but there is today and tomorrow...

Even though my birthday is in September and I knew about my present in August, my gift arrived last Thursday evening sandwiched between two trips up to Mayo Clinic for chemo treatments. As noted in an earlier post, my daughter and I have been long time fans of the singing group Celtic Thunder. This past Wednesday Kylynn and I made our way down to my sister's house in Tennessee and on Thursday evening we took our places in the front row of a Celtic Thunder concert. Yes, front row, that was my gift. Well, that and being able to share the experience with my little Aria, and what an experience it was!

Kylynn and I arrived in down town Nashville quite early before the 7:30 performance so we set off for a bit of a walk around the area to see what we could see. The concert was at the TPAC, The Tennessee Performing Arts Center, and as we walked around the building Kylynn was quick to spy the Celtic Thunder equipment trucks parked in the loading dock. Kylynn was excited about seeing the trucks and would have likely enjoyed watching them being unloaded, but being that they were parked inside a garage like structure watching was not possible. So we continued around the building. Turning the corner we were greeted with the sight of all of the tour buses lined parked along the side of the building. I explained to Kylynn that the guys were on those buses and she literally stopped in her tracks and stared. "Damian is on one of those buses?", my little girl asked in amazement. (Damian is Kylynn's favorite in the group) I told her that indeed he likely was and this started Kylynn wondering what Damian might be doing right then as we were walking by. Of course, knowing that she was in such close proximity to 5 people that she idolizes also made Kylynn quite nervous and she asked if we could move away from the buses. And so we continued our stroll around the area.

This part of our walk took us into a bit of a surprise and our only non-Celtic Thunder related part of our evening. Kylynn and I decided to try to find a place to sit and rest for a bit and this led us to some benches that are located across the street from the Hermitage Hotel. As we settled ourselves we noticed a group of about 5-6 people standing across the street from the hotel holding multiple hockey related items, wearing New Jersey Devils jerseys, and staring at the entrance to the hotel as if waiting for something. My little brother, Jeff, is a huge Devils fan and, consequently, so is Kylynn. She recognized the jerseys right away and asked what the people were doing. Now, I enjoy hockey but I had no idea if the Devils were in town for a game or not, so I got on the phone. I tried my brother first and got no answer so I called my sister, Amy. She looked it up and indeed the Devils were in town for a game that evening. So we sat and watched the people who were watching the hotel. Within about 10 minutes 5-6 men in suits emerged from the hotel and the Devils fans descended upon them. I don't know the players by sight, I tend to need them in uniform with their names across their backs to recognize them, but by the actions of the others I was fairly certain we were looking at some of Jeff's and Kylynn's favorite players. We had nothing really for them to sign and Kylynn was being shy about going over by them, but we had a good time watching. And then Kylynn said, "Maybe they're here to see Celtic Thunder!" I told her that I was fairly certain that they were here to play a hockey game, but her comment made me laugh. By this time the sun was starting to go down, we were becoming a bit chilly, and so we set off to get our coats from the car and eat some dinner.

So Kylynn has been asking me for quite awhile when she can start to learn to play the harp. I had decided, after talking with my harp teacher, that I would start teaching her myself and when she get a little bigger I would start formal lessons. So earlier this week I ordered a book of harp music/lessons that Carl, my harp teacher, recommended and yesterday it arrived at my home. Kylynn spotted the book first thing this morning and, once she realized the book was for her, has done little else except sit and play the harp with me, or ask endlessly if we can play the harp again. While I love that she is loving it so much and that she is so good (so far) about taking instruction from me, it is a bit exhausting. But still, she is so darn cute and so excited.

In any case, I fear that Ashe is no longer just mine. Though he is bigger than Kylynn is she has claimed him as hers as well and explained to me that I will have to share so that she can practice. But even though I will have too share my beloved harp, I am happy. I am very happy that Kylynn wants to play the harp because her mommy plays the harp. And I am glad that she wants mommy to teach her. So you see, even on the rainiest days, there is sunlight that our children bring with their enthusiasm, joy, and flattery in wanting to be like us.

The past few weeks have been busy and full of all kinds of summertime happenings. My youngest sister, Amy, was here for a couple of weeks with her son, Isaac, and her husband, David. They were here over the 4th, which is a celebration all on it's own, but which also happens to be Isaac's birthday. He turned 1 this year and I was so happy that I could be there for that! While my sister was here we also did a lot of picking up and sorting items for the huge garage sale we are planning for the end of next month to help raise funds for Amy and David to adopt their children from Ethiopia. But most notably, for me at least, in the past couple of weeks was Kylynn's 5th birthday. It's so hard to believe sometimes that my baby is five. She's growing up so fast! She has gone from an adorable tiny baby to a little lady seemingly overnight. I am so proud of all the things that Kylynn has accomplished in the past five years. She amazes me everyday. Some of the things she says are so insightful and beyond her years, other things she says are just downright funny. She is a wonderful little girl and I am so blessed to have her.

Kylynn turning five also makes me think back to how little she was when I was first diagnosed, she was just a year and a half old. Too little to understand what was going on but old enough to sense the change and feel the worry. Back then I would alternate, in my mind, between whether it would be better if I died before Kylynn was old enough to really remember me and worry that if I died, Kylynn wouldn't remember me. But here we are, three and a half years later, and now I worry about what my death would do to Kylynn because she is definitely old enough that she would remember me. I don't really fear death, but I am terrified of leaving my sweet Aria.

Another very notable event in my life recently is my 9th wedding anniversary. Nine years, wow! When Eric and I started our life together I know that neither one of us ever thought that it would take the twists that it has. I remember our first crappy apartment and me starting my teaching career. I remember being pregnant with Kylynn and how excited we both were. And then we closed on our first house and Kylynn was born 6 days later, that was a wild time! Eric and I have had some wonderful memories over the past years and more than our share of difficulties. It hasn't always been easy, but here we are still together. When we said, "In sickness or in health" when we were 23 we had no idea that it would be put to the test when we were only 29. It's rough, very rough sometimes, but we're making our way through it together.

Even on the rainiest day there will be sweet and wonderful milestones to celebrate, and sometimes I think they are made sweeter and more wonderful because of the rain.

I recently started a new special little thing with my sweet little Aria. (For those who don't know, Kylynn's middle name is Aria and I often called her by it, or sometimes shorten it to Ari. She answers to it for me. It's another one of our special little things I guess.) Since she was a baby, at night, after she was asleep, I would go into Kylynn's room and pray for my little girl. Recently I started printing out pictures of angels and leaving them in Kylynn's room with my prayer for her that night written on the back. Kylynn loves this. I love it too, but it does make me a little bit sad also as I find myself, not just praying for my Squeakers (again, a Kylynn nickname), but also trying to write something meaningful and instructive for her. It's hard to explain so I'll give you an example of what I write for Kylynn:

May 18, 2009
Mommy prayed for you tonight, Kiki. I prayed that you may always have hope no matter what life might bring you. Sometimes life throws some rough stuff at us, but if you hang onto hope and your faith, darling daughter, you will always find a way through.
I love you more than anything!
Sweet dreams, Kylynn, and God bless you always!

After my surgery I was staying at my parent's for a bit and it was usually my mom who would read to Kylynn what I wrote on the back of her angel pictures. One morning after reading to Kylynn my mom came to me and said that she thought it was a good thing, what I was writing for Kylynn, but that it also made her sad because she felt like I am trying to prepare Kylynn for a time when I wouldn't be here anymore. That is exactly why it makes me a little sad too, and it is, indeed, part of why I started doing the angel pictures for Kylynn. My sweet little girl has an amazing relationship with God for someone so young and I want to encourage that in her. I also want her to know that I pray for her all the time. I, also, want to teach and tell her somethings now so that if anything happens to me she will have that knowledge and faith to draw on. And when I'm gone she will have all her angel pictures and mommy's word to keep forever.

But my pictures of angels are not the only angels that my Aria has. No, hardly. My little girl has more angels than she will probably ever know. It has been my wish that Kylynn go to St. John's school when she starts kindergarten in the fall. My reasons for this are many. At St. John's, I feel like Kylynn would have more support and understanding as she tries to deal with her mommy being ill. There is only one class of each grade at St. John's so Kylynn would be with the same kids year after year and I hope that would give a group of friends that become close, like a family, and that those friends can help Kylynn through any troubles she may face. Kylynn has such a strong faith already, I want that to be part of her everyday life. I think the quality of education and amount of personal attention Kylynn would receive at St. John's would be much greater than what she would receive at a public school. The list goes on and on. So Kylynn was enrolled at St. John's and my husband and I took up the worry of paying for her education in addition to all my medical stuff and just the everyday stuff. It was going to be a stretch for us and possibly an impossible one, and then, angels descended into our lives. Some of my dear, dear friends, Michele and Sheli in particular, took up the cause of raising money for Kylynn to go to St. John's and soon after they did Kylynn's little life started to just swarm with angels. Friends from high school that I haven't talked to in years (special thanks to you, Joe!), other friends, friends of friends, relatives, and strangers have all come together to help make my wish for my daughter a possibility. I am overwhelmed by everyone's kindness and just so very, very grateful. There are not words enough to express just how much it all means to me and how very touched I am by it. My Aria is blessed to have so many angels in her life, and so am I!

And so, even on the rainiest day, there are angels to be found everywhere! They may wear the disguise of stranger or friend, you have but to look closely and you will see them.

This post has been floating around my head for a long time but due to health issues hasn't made it to the blog until now. Sorry about that.

Celtic Thunder. An extraordinary group of five guys from Ireland and Scotland who have joined together under Phil Coulter and Sharon Browne to form and outstanding singing group. Kylynn and I are big fans. We watch the DVD together. In the car Kylynn always demands to listen to Celtic Thunder on my Ipod, she requests specific songs and sings along, sometimes she sings along in Gaelic. We talk about the five guys in the group as though we know them and call them by their first names. Kylynn actually has given nicknames to two of them. George she calls Georgie and Damian, her favorite in the group, she very affectionately calls Dami. We love Celtic Thunder and so when I saw that they were going to be in Illinois, and not too terribly far away on their spring tour this year, I looked into getting tickets.

I managed to get three tickets, for mom, Kylynn, and myself, and on April 24th we drove up to Waukegan, IL to see our boys. The whole night was a blast! Kylynn was SO excited about actually seeing Celtic Thunder live on stage, but she really hasn't been to any concerts so had no idea what to expect. Sitting in our seats before the show started we were all already having a great time. Kylynn had gotten her Damian t-shirt and her show program and was happy as a clam sitting, looking at the pictures in the program, and having mommy read to her about the guys. And I must say that Celtic Thunder fans, at least where I was sitting (with the exception of two weirdos in front of us), are the nicest fans in the world. Everyone was talking with us and were so nice to Kylynn. One lady sitting next to my mother (who, after learning that the lady was from Minnesota, told her about me and our frequent trips to MN.) has actually kept in touch with my mom and has sent sweet gifts for Kylynn ( a little Irish stuffed bear and another Damian t-shirt!). So before the show even started, again with the exception of Mr. and Mrs. Probably-on-a-day-pass-from-a-psychiatric-hospital sitting in front of us, we were having so much fun. Then the lights in the theatre went down and Kylynn's eyes got huge just taking everything in. She was awed by the lights and the sounds and the mist but nothing can top the moment when she saw the guys come out on stage. Now, like I said, Kylynn loves Celtic Thunder, and like anything that Kylynn is interested in, she has a lot of information about them. She has seen their first DVD a million times, plus she knows each guy's voice just by listening to it. So whenever there was something different in the show than it was on the DVD Kylynn was quick to point it out and ask why. Like I said, she loves Damian and came to the show already knowing that his voice would be different than on the DVD (he was 14 when the DVD was recorded, he is 16 now and his voice has gotten deeper) but the look of excitement of her face when she heard him sing at the show for the first time was just priceless! I have to say that I was a little worried about Kylynn being able to sit though both acts of the show, especially since it was way past her bed-time, but she was so enthralled by the guys that she did excellent! I probably had as much fun watching Kylynn watch the show as I did watching the show myself.

That's not to say that the show wasn't excellent on it's own, it was, it really was. The guys are just fabulous and I enjoyed hearing and seeing my boys live and seeing and hearing the changes that they made for this tour. I love all the guys and think they all are so amazingly gifted, but I have to say that I enjoy Ryan probably the most. He is intriguing and his stage presence is just incredible. I could listen to Ryan sing "Desperado" all day and I am always amused by his song "Heartbreaker", never fails to make me smile. He also sang "Ride On", a song that I enjoy and think he sings very well, but also one that cracks me and Kylynn up because Ryan does this odd squatty stance and arm movement in it (check out the DVD you'll see what I mean). Don't get me wrong, Kylynn and I like it and it works with the song and especially with Ryan's stage personality, but on the 24th Ryan did the "squatty arm thing" no less than 4 times in the song, maybe more. Awesome! Makes me giggle just thinking of it. Thanks Ryan!!! He did, also, sing "Every Breath You Take" which he sang fabulously, but will always be thought of as "the stalker song" in my mind. Sorry Ryan, but even Sting admits that it's a bit of a creepy song. Keith, also a favorite of mine, has a voice and personality that I just adore. He sang "Castles in the Air" just beautifully but I, honestly, miss him singing "Mountains of Mourne". I love the way he sings that song and I could just listen to it over and over. Keith also had some other wonderful numbers in the show. I love him singing "The Island" and "I Want To Know What Love Is" and he also performed "Lauren and I" which he wrote himself. And then there is Paul, who is also a favorite, and he has a voice that is just incredible! He is a classically trained tenor and his range is just spectacular! He sang "Love Thee Dearest" and "Remember Me" with all the power and emotion that is on the DVD, but what really knocked my socks off was Paul singing "You Raise Me Up", wow! He had the crowd on it's feet for that one. Paul also seemed to be in a particularly playful mood the evening of the 24th and he just cracked me up the way he joked with the audience and the other guys. Well done Paul! And George (or as Kylynn would say, Georgie) was fabulous too, he is also a favorite (are you sensing a trend here?). George has this beautiful deep voice and I just adore it! He sang "Yesterday's Men" and did it so well! He also sang "My Boy" which I love but always makes me cry. But what brought down the house was George singing "500 Miles" by the Proclaimers. I would walk 500 miles just to hear Georgie sing that song again, it was wonderful, George at his very best! And last, but certainly not least, there is Damian (or in Kylynn's world, Dami), who is Kylynn's favorite but also beloved by me as well. This kid, he's only 16, has a voice that I am not sure how he contains in his body. Such a powerful, beautiful, and now deep, voice! Damian, charmed us all with his versions of "Happy Birthday Sweet 16" and "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do". Damian is just so adorable when he sings, and as I tell Kylynn, I just want to pick him up and put him in my pocket he is so cute! But the two songs that Damian sang that I really love are "Bird Without Wings", which makes me cry but is just gorgeous, and "Come By The Hills" which is a song I have always loved. Damian starts off "Come By The Hills" in Gaelic and I love that, more than that, I love that Kylynn can sing almost that entire first verse in Gaelic as well. Also, the song, "Come By The Hills" ends each verse of the song with the words, "...and the cares of tomorrow can wait 'til this day is done." I love that. I would like to say I live each day like that but it would be a lie. What I can say though is that for that one night, the 24th of April at Celtic Thunder, all the cares of tomorrow did wait because I was busy having a great time with my little girl and my mom. Thank you Celtic Thunder!

*This just in* If you want a little sample of what we saw at the show go here and watch the clip. Then, if you like, follow the link at the bottom of the page and go pre-order your own copy!

And so, even on the rainiest day, there are people and events that can take us outside of our own troubles, even if just for a short time, and carry us away to happier things and give us moments to remember forever!

It has always been a dream of mine to become a knight or a pirate or BOTH. The knight thing I think has to do with the time period and the fact that I'd really like a horse and a sword. The pirate thing I think really has more to do with the ship. I want to sail! I want to sail on a big ship, two masts at least. Of course, if I was a pirate, I don't think I would settle for less than being the captain. Oh, and I get a sword as a pirate too!

My daughter, Kylynn, has jumped right aboard with both of these dreams of mine and I love that. The thing that really makes me smile, though, is how absolutely possible Kylynn believes both the idea of being a pirate and being a knight are. She was just talking about this yesterday and she started off by saying, "Mommy, when we are pirates together..." And then later it was, "When we are knights after we are pirates..." I love that it is when with Kylynn and not if. Kids are great like that.

Kylynn has also been recruiting others to join us as knights and pirates. It is so much fun to listen to her talk to others about these things. It's great also because if we're going to have a large ship as pirates we're going to need a crew. And Kylynn is much like her mom when it comes to being a pirate, she wants to be in charge. She will invite people to be pirates on our ship (meaning hers and mine) and she will sometimes even try to assign them jobs like swabbing the deck or cooking.

But what I really enjoy is listening to Kylynn talk to other children about being a knight or a pirate. Yesterday Kylynn spent the day with her friend, Josh, and she invited him to be a pirate first. Now, Josh likes pirates, so Kylynn didn't have to sell him on the idea at all and they got right into making pirate plans. I didn't catch all the details but I know I heard something about treasure and I swear I heard the word scurvy in the conversation too. And then later in the day the invitation for Josh to be a knight came. Josh is less familiar with knights so Kylynn filled him in on all the details (and believe me, Kylynn has lots of knight details) and soon Josh was ready to sign up, especially if it meant he got a horse and a sword and shield. The conversation on knights went on and shifted a bit to being knights at the Medieval Times dinner/show. Kylynn was explaining to Josh that if they were knights there that their horses would stay at the castle but that they, as knights, would go home every night and sleep at their houses. Josh said that he would want to take his horse home with him which is where the conversation got most amusing. Kylynn kept telling Josh that the horses should stay at the castle and that way someone else would have to clean up their poop (not sure where that logic came from) and Josh kept saying that he wanted to take his horse home. Kylynn asked him how he would take the horse home and Josh said that the horse could go in his car. Kylynn quickly pointed out that a car was too small for a horse. Josh thought about this for a moment and then turned to me and said, "your car is bigger (I have a small SUV) than mine, could you bring my horse home for me?" I don't know why, but that just cracked me up. Kylynn, of course, had to tell him that the horse wouldn't fit in my car either. Their conversation went on after that, but I found it amusing that neither one thought about just riding their horses home.

The conversations that kids, especially my daughter, have never cease to amuse me. And I love that, while they are young, all things seem possible, even likely, to children. Knights and pirates... care to join us?

Even on the rainiest day anything is possible, even the possibility of being a knight or a pirate.