Monday, May 2, 2011
Throughout this whole cancer experience my daughter, Kylynn, has remained pretty unflappable and amazingly strong. She has, for the most part, not been overly plagued by fear and worry and for that I am so grateful. Sure she has had some rough patches, but in the grand scheme of things, Kylynn has weathered all of this cancer crap very well. One might think that she has done well because she isn't really aware of my whole situation, but that isn't the case. Kylynn is a very intelligent and inquisitive little girl and there isn't much about my cancer that we have kept from her or could keep from her even if we wanted to. She, from the beginning, has wanted to know everything right down to what color tumors are, saying that she feels more confident about the situation if she knows what is going on. So we have done our best to keep Kylynn informed as best we can while trying to stress our confidence in God and in my doctors. And, overall, it has worked well for us all. But every now and then I think reality catches up with Kylynn, as it does with me sometimes, and for such a young girl it must seem even more monstrous and overwhelming than it does for me.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
"...But we get the strength to carry on
And build a life of our own making
We thank the Lord for each new day
And for every breath that we are taking
It's a good life
Far from the high life
And I thank God that this was my life"
- "This Was My Life", Celtic Thunder
Five years ago I got news that changed my life forever. It was a very Grey's Anatomy kind of moment. I was there in my hospital bed and in walked a doctor and about 5 interns and they all stood around my bed while they explained that I had cancer. Of course, they probably weren't prepared for my response, which was to spend the next half hour explaining to them exactly why I couldn't have cancer. You know you're in bad shape when your argument includes the phrase, "Maybe it's just hepatitis." In any case, as it turns out I did, and do, have cancer. Sort of a sucky way to start off 2006 but there you have it. My first treatment was a huge surgery in which almost three quarters of my liver was removed. And so began my cancer journey. My life would
never, never be the same again.
I feel that I have much that I could say about the past five years of my life and yet, at the same time, I feel I don't know what to say at all. So I’ve decided to not say much (I know, shocking, huh?) and instead share with you some pictures from the last five years.
Okay, this first picture is actually from the end of 2005 but I wanted to include it. T
his picture was taken at my sister's house and this trip to see her is really my last whole memory that is untainted by cancer. Soon after arriving home form visiting my sister I was in the hospital and then my whole world changed.The music is "Cal/Local Hero" by Phil Coulter for Celtic Thunder
Five years! And they have been five pretty good years. Five! And at the beginning of all of this the doctors weren't even sure I'd make it one year. And so I head into the next five years filled with hope and ready to walk through whatever comes my way. No, my life hasn't gone exactly the way I thought that it would but this is my life and, rainiest days and all, I wouldn't trade away a second of it.
"...And looking back on all the years
The loves, the sweetness, and the sorrow
Have made me what I am today
And I'd do it all again tomorrowIt's been a good life
Far from the high life
And I thank God that this was my lifeWe can't deny life
How it flies by, life
And I thank God that this was my life"- "This Was My Life", Celtic Thunder
